Just breathe

Right about now I don't really know what to do. I'd give anything in the world just to see Janae, because I miss her more than anything, I want so badly to talk to her. It just sucks. I miss her so much, and I hate getting to talk to her every two or three months, even longer than that sometimes. I don't know whats up with me lately.

I feel like giving up, because everything is giving up on me. I feel like, I'm not any importance to anyone. It's the worst feeling in the world. I can't even be home without feeling the need to cry because everything is almost packed away. I wish I didn't cause so many problems, and I wish I didn't put myself into situations that make me feel like this. It's just the way I am.

I feel so sleep deprived. I can't function and lately I just ramble on about things that don't make sense. There's so much that's been going on that I hardly pay attention to the little things anymore. Maybe that's why things are going so downhill for me.

I'm falling apart at my seams. It sounds so dramatic but its so true. It's hard for me to explain it, but it's like there's so much stuff going on, I don't have time for myself. I make time to help other people, even if that means not helping myself. I should probably start doing that more because I don't like where things are headed right now. It's like the path less traveled. Except this path sucks right now. I just want to find a bench and take a break from everything for a little bit. I want a weekend to myself, where I won't have to worry and I can just come back rejuvenated, and full of life. It's like my life has been sucked out of me and I've been moping around my house, and everywhere I go.

I've been putting Cameron in a bad position, and I feel so bad. He doesn't deserve it because he's been there for me almost more than anyone. He's amazing I just don't know where things are going if I don't take a quick breather form everything so I'm not like this. I don't want to lose him because I'm a douche bag.

Romeo has been there for me for everything. And he always tells me the truth even if it does hurt to hear it. I appreciate him more than anything. I'd be worse than I already am if it weren't for him.

For everyone else that's listened to me complain for the past two weeks, thank you. I honestly appreciate it. If anyone needs help with anything just let me know, and I'm there.