Families are forever.

My sister is gorgeous. And I actually LOVE this picture of her. Don't hate. I always think about when we were little, how we did everything together. We're so different now. I hate who she's becoming. She just turned 13 on January 18th. She's such a drama queen. I hate that she doesn't understand the world doesn't revolve around her. She's really self centered. I can't say I'm much better than her though considering I'm sitting here trash talking her. Oh well. My love for her just keeps growing. I've disappointed her so many times.. It's pathetic. I remember I was smoking on the side of my house once, (back in the day when I did smoke) and she was inside bawling. I felt terrible. I came in and she wouldn't look at me or anything. I felt like shit.

I remember in sixth grade when I had a sleep over with Lexi, my sister was crying her eyes out because her little boyfriend broke up with her. She sat under MY bed and cried for like an hour and a half until we snuck out and hung out with Gavin. We made her come with us. She was good after that. I'm rethinking what I said earlier, and its only true sometimes. I remember when Emily stayed with us she offered her bed to Emily, and was like, "No, I'll sleep on the floor. Its okay." She's the only one that actually tries to help my littlest sister Gracee. So I take what I said back. Its only sometimes she's like that, but it's only sometimes she's like this. And I also decided that she's only 13. She's not that mature yet. I should probably give her a break, because she does do a lot for me.

Have you ever gotten used to your life being a certain way, and you kinda sorta expected it to stay like that? I did. And Janae was a huge part of it. Then she got ripped away. Didn't see that one coming. In fact, I wasn't even in town when she called me and told me, 'All hell just broke loose.' I was like, um.. Right. Funny! But the truth was is that she was getting sent away whether I liked it or not. I had no say. Either Utah or Eagar. Take your pick. I think it's so ridiculous, that we had gotten this close and it was all ruined. I've seen her once in the nine months she's been gone. Total bullshit. I remember when we took that picture. We were at a fair, and we were running away from this creeper that kept giving her money to play games so he could watch her bend over. Yeah, that was real cute. When I got to see Janae for the first time in six months, I'll be completely honest. It sucked. She just got her tonsils removed, I had a sore throat. She was sick, I was sick.. Wooh. It was terrible. I was actually excited to come home, because then I could go to the doctor. I miss her a ton. She hasn't been there to help me through some of the toughest things I've had to go through. Its like I didn't have a leg, I didn't have her to lean on.